


The Fine Art of Tavern Hunting

by Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains



Series: Of Tears and Ash [14]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Genre: Banter, Discussion, Gen, Ridiculous dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:34:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25675168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains/pseuds/Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains
Summary: Iphicles and Orestes go looking for a tavern.  They engage in a lively discourse along the way.
Series: Of Tears and Ash [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1050806
Kudos: 8





	The Fine Art of Tavern Hunting

A current of energy ran through the town, filling its street much like the warm sun did as it descended from the sky.Left and right, numerous individuals were about their business, in whatever form that happened to take, creating an unbroken chain of activity.Orestes was, to put it accurately, an individual who found himself in what was best described as his natural habitat.He enjoyed the concept of controlled chaos which seemed to be playing out in front of him regardless of which direction he turned in.In his eyes, it was one of the often-overlooked beauties of life: the living of it.The town was springing up as though it possessed one collective voice, proclaiming to any who might think to see it that it was alive!It was a splendid sight, as far as he was concerned.It cheered his heart to see the peaceful mundanity of it all.His experiences with less calm, pleasant circumstances had taught him the value of the patterns of daily life which others in his field often found tedious.

Of course, despite the depth of his appreciation for such towns and the sheer amount of life with which they swelled, he could understand that not everyone was inclined to share his views on the subject.Iphicles, for one, held somewhat of an opposing stance on the matter.Though he was not adverse to his fellow humans in any serious sense, he preferred locations which were not quite so teeming with their presence.In other words, he would much rather walk through the streets of a small farming community, and exchange genial conversation with a passing villager or two, than wander through the maze of a sprawling coastal city, dodging merchants, sailors, and pickpockets. 

Orestes had tried to persuade his companion to reevaluate larger communities and the benefits which they possessed, but his efforts had, as of yet, been fruitless.Still, he was inclined to continue this endeavor, regardless of how futile it might be.However, such a topic was probably one best saved for a time when they were not in the midst of that with which it was concerned, given that bringing it up now would most likely only serve to irk Iphicles, something which Orestes wasn’t inclined to do at the matter.Instead, he chose a more irrelevant, passing topic to fill the time.After all, it was best not to discuss a more involved matter, since the majority of their attention was supposed to be directed to the search which they were conducting.If they became too distracted, it might prolong their hunt for a tavern, and Orestes was quite hungry already.All things considered then, a safer topic was undeniably the wiser choice.

“Say, my friend, a thought arises within my mind,” Orestes remarked lightly, glancing over to his companion. 

Iphicles looked over, inclining his head a bit.“And what might this thought be, good Orestes, which so arises?”He inquired casually.

“Ah, I will gladly divulge it to you, my friend, though I fear it may take the shape of a question by the time it reaches my tongue,” Orestes replied.

“Well, if that is to be the way of things, I will accept it as unavoidable.Pose to me this query which dwells now in your mind,” Iphicles responded with a note of interest.

“My question is this,” Orestes began, “I wonder now, do you feel any guilt over our abandonment of Kadmos to watch the wagons alone at this hour, while we seek a meal elsewhere?”

Iphicles chuckled.“I see that your question is a rhetorical one, for I am sure you can guess at the answer which I am sure to offer in return to such an inquiry.”

“I must confess,” Orestes admitted, “There is within my mind what I would consider a well-made prediction as to the nature of your answer, taking into account both the form and the content of it.Nevertheless, I am still interested to hear the words from your mouth, so I might compare them to those produced by the intuition of my mind.Would you be so kind as to humor me in such a way?”

“Hmm, you have moved from merely sending a question forth in my direction, to placing a request upon my ears.The stakes have been upped, have they not?”Iphicles returned, a grin showing on his face.

“Ah yes, you have correctly described my actions, summarizing the trajectory of our conversation with great sagacity, I must concede, good Iphicles,” Orestes answered, smirking himself.

“It seems to me that this conversation has moved from a mere discussion of trifling facts and thoughts, to a match between the two of us.What would you say to that, my comrade?”Iphicles inquired, his eyebrow curling wittily.

“I find your appraisal of the situation to be one which possesses a considerably degree of veracity, the space which it reserves for said quality a capacious one indeed,” Orestes replied, a mocking lilt in his voice.

“Ah, well then, it seems that if you wish to know my true thoughts on the original matter to which your question applies, you must first prove yourself agility in the verbal arts in which we are now competing.Is this a challenge which you feel you may capably rise to, or would you rather shy away from it?Keep in mind, if you choose to forego such a challenge, I may be forced to comment humorously at the expense of pride and dignity alike, in equal quantities,” Iphicles announced.

“With a statement such as that one preceding it, it is clear to me that to refuse such a challenge would be to deal a disastrous blow to myself, an act which I am loathe to commit.I find, therefore, that whatever the reservations I hold toward engaging in a competition of that nature might be, I am nonetheless forced to enter it, given the situation in which you have placed me.Truly, you are most dexterous when it comes to wordplay, to have coerced me into such a tournament of locution,” Orestes said, practically beaming.

“Excellent, excellent, it seems that a bit of fun is very well in order then.Now that we have both agreed to the matter at hand, the business which now seems most appropriate to attend to is the order in which we shall deliver our respective assaults.Are you inclined to begin this oratory melee, or shall I be the one to deliver the first strike?I shall give you the original say in the decision, on the condition that you will abide with whatever path you elect to follow, regardless of any later regrets which may surface at a future point in the match,” Iphicles said, his smile widening even further.

“Ah, you have my gratitude, friend Iphicles, for allowing me the privilege of such a choice.In a competition such as this one, that is a boon indeed.Next time, let it be said, I shall grant you a similar right, so that we shall be even.”

Iphicles gave a light laugh, “I must say, I am not surprised in the least to hear you say such a thing.It seems to me that you wish to remain free of any potential debts which you might accrue due to my generosity.”

Orestes nodded, composing his face into a false look of sheepishness.“I will admit, my friend, your observation is not devoid of truth, though I am not pleased to make such a confession.”

“Ah well,” Iphicles mused, “There are times when we must all make such concessions in the form of confessions.”

“True enough,” Orestes agreed.He frowned suddenly, his eyes looking to something ahead.“However, my friend, I fear we must delay our game for now.”

“Oh, and why would that be?”Iphicles queried.

“Because,” Orestes replied, “We have stumbled upon our quarry at last.”

Iphicles followed Orestes’s gaze, and discovered that they were now walking directly toward a tavern.“Ah, so we have, so we have,” he concurred.“Shall we table our battle of verbosity for now then?”

“I think that a wise choice indeed,” Orestes opined.

“So it goes, so it goes,” Iphicles responded, breaking into a laugh. 

Orestes shook his head, grinning, as they made for the tavern entrance.“It would seem that some things never change,” he mused.

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one of my HTLJ fics from 2018 (set in my "Of Tears and Ash" AU) that I never posted, but decided I might as well, considering the time I put into them. Once again, since I'm no longer really in the fandom, I'm backdating this to when I wrote it, so no one thinks I'm suddenly back into HTLJ.


End file.
